Why did the scarecrow become a successful brain surgeon? He was outstanding in his field.

I used to be a professional fisherman, but I got caught up in the net of corruption.

They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.

I would tell you a joke about Schrodinger's cat, but I don't know if it's dead or alive.

I don't like using elevator jokes because they usually let me down.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about death, she said 'Sure, our marriage.'

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was stuffed with secrets.

Why don't murderers play hide and seek? Because good luck finding them.

Why don't skeletons ever fight in the army? They don't have the guts for it.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was excellent at scaring off the living.

Why did the scarecrow become a weather forecaster? He was outstanding at pointing out gloomy trends.

Why don't skeletons like parties? They have a bone to pick with socializing.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was exceptional at overlooking the living.

Why did the ghost join the dating app? He wanted a ghoul-friend.

Why don't skeletons ever fight in wars? They prefer to stay in their graves.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was exceptional at haystacking.

Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She was drained from the relationship.

Why don't ghosts like to go out in public? They are afraid of their past coming back to haunt them.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was exceptional at fielding inappropriate comments.

Why did the zombie apply for a job at the bakery? He wanted to rise from the bread.

Why don't ghosts ever tell lies? They are afraid they won't be believed.