Jokes about morbid or controversial topics; not for everyone.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Why did the tomato turn to the dark side? Because it couldn't resist the power of the dark side.
Why do orphans never play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding at hanging out all day.
What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Why did the butcher break up with his girlfriend? She was always cutting him deep.
Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair? So she could rock and roll.
Why did the janitor bring a ladder to work? Because he heard the job was on the top floor.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired of the world.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field of dead bodies.
What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his corpse-filled field.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take my boots off before I jump on a trampoline.
How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Why do cemeteries have fences? People are dying to get in.
What's the difference between a magician and a sniper? The magician says 'Pick a card, any card'. The sniper says 'Pick a card, any card... but choose wisely'.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field of human remains.
Why did the scarecrow become a lawyer? He was outstanding in his field of missing persons cases.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field of death and destruction.
Why did the farmer bury all his money? To grow his savings.