I asked my friend for a dark joke. He said, 'My life.'

Why did the coffin go on a diet? It was feeling a little too heavy-hearted.

Why was the skeleton a good detective? He would always dig up the truth.

Why did the executioner go broke? He couldn't make ends meet.

Why did the coffin join the band? It had killer bass skills.

I used to play piano by ear, but then I stopped listening.

Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? He needed space.

Why did the schizophrenic cross the road? To get to the other side... and talk to the voices.

I asked my dad for his best dark joke. He said, 'Son, it's your reflection.'

I walked into a bar. The bartender asked me, 'Why the long face?' I replied, 'Have you seen the other guy?'

Why did the vampire get fired from his job? He couldn't handle the night shifts.

I used to work in a juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate.

I have a fear of over-engineered buildings. I guess you could say it's my high-rise phobia.

I bought a cemetery plot. I'll be the last person to let you down.

Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have nobody to love.

I bought a cemetery plot. People are dying to get in there.

Why did the necrophiliac break up with his girlfriend? She was cold-hearted.

I don't always tell dark jokes, but when I do, they're coffin' hilarious.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful farmer? He had a lot of killer instincts.

Why did the chicken join a band? He had killer drumsticks.

I was going to tell a joke about ghosts, but it never materialized.