Why did the murderer open a bakery? He wanted to make some killer pastries.

Why did the scarecrow become a lawyer? He was great at straw-bale objections.

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He tried to move on but couldn't stomach it.

Why did the coffin never trust anyone with secrets? It always kept its lid shut.

Why did the ghost win an award? He had a haunting performance.

What do you call a cemetery that's out of space? A grave situation.

Why was the graveyard so popular? People are dying to get in.

Why did the serial killer refuse to use social media? He didn't want any 'shares' or 'retweets.'

Why did the werewolf break up with his girlfriend? She just couldn't handle his animalistic side.

Why was the murder investigation so cold? Because it was an ice-cold case.

What's the best way to get rid of a corpse? Just give it some formaldehyde and let nature do the rest.

Why was the graveyard so lively? Because it was a dead-end street party.

Why was the coffin so crowded? It had a dead center for a party.

What did the grave robber say to the buried treasure? 'You're a real gem.'

Why did the vampire have to cancel his dinner date? He couldn't find a vein restaurant.

Why couldn't the vampire get a girlfriend? He had bat pick-up lines.

What did the cannibal get when he was late to dinner? The cold shoulder.

Why did the mummy get a promotion at work? He was outstanding in his field.

What did the murderer do when the police told him to put his hands up? He hit them with his confessions.

Why did the man name his dog 'Five Miles'? So he could say he walks 'Five Miles' every day.

Why did the ghost go to therapy? He had a lot of boo-hoo issues.