Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He didn't have the guts to bring anyone with him.

Why don't skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs.

I asked the doctor if he had anything for my fear of death. He said, 'Yes, a coffin.'

Why did the ghost go to the bar? For some boos.

I jokingly told my wife I wanted to be cremated when I die. She told me I'm already burning our marriage.

Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She wasn't his type.

I accidentally ate some food coloring. The doctor said I'll be fine, but I feel like I dyed a little inside.

I tried to sell my soul on eBay, but it was removed for being a prohibited item.

Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood.

I decided to become a serial killer for Halloween. I figured it was a killer costume.

I asked the fortune teller how I would die. She told me to wait and see.

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She gave him the cold shoulder.

I asked the waiter if there were any specials. He said, 'Just the usual, fresh meat.'

Why was the cemetery so popular? Because people were dying to get in.

I told my son to stop horsing around. He said, 'Don't worry, I won't do it stabley.'

Why did the baker have a nervous breakdown? He couldn't control his kneads.

I painted my computer black, hoping it would run faster. Now it doesn't work, but at least it matches my soul.

Why did the surgeon get into a fight? He had a lot of cuts and couldn't handle the pressure.

I tried to make a belt out of snakes, but it was a hiss take.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

I asked my therapist if he had a cure for my paranoia. He said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.'