I told a baker he should loaf around more, but he kneaded to work.

I'm friends with all the numbers, except 7. 7 never did anything for me.

I told my wife she should try lunges to stay in shape. It would be a big step in the right direction.

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Do not buy it!

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't rise to the top of the bread-making business.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they can't wear shoes, they lactate.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's unfortunate they'll never collide.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite and vampire bitten snowman.

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants of theirs.

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology, but do not open it and resist the temptation to read it.

When life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's sad they'll never meet up.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they're udderly amazing.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't rise to the occasion to make cookies.

I used to be a baker until I kneaded dough.

I need to stop spending all my money on ingredients for my baking business. It's a recipe for disaster!

I asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat. She said it rang a bell, but she didn't know if it was there or not.

I tried to organize a hide and seek competition, but it was a disaster. Good players are really hard to find.

I'm reading a book on puns, it's tearable.

Why did the gym close down? Too many absences.

I told my wife she should embrace her flaws, now she's wearing her pajamas outside.