What do you call a politician who sleeps all day? A 'nap-ster'.

Why did the politician get a job at the bakery? So he could 'knead' the dough.

How do politicians keep in shape? By running for office.

Why did the politician feel like a skeleton? Because he lost all his constituents!

How does a politician say goodbye? 'See you in four years!'

Why was the politician a terrible gardener? He kept pulling up the roots of the problems.

What do you call a group of politicians arguing? A congress.

What did the politician dress up as for Halloween? A lobbyist.

Why did the politician carry a map at all times? To 'navigate' around tough questions.

What do you call a politician who's lost an election? An ex-senator.

How do politicians avoid answering questions? They filibuster.

Why did the politician learn to play poker? To 'bluff' his way through negotiations.

What do politicians use to check their spelling? The House of Representatives.

Why was the politician always cold? He refused to budge on his stance.

How does a politician stay fit? By constantly backtracking.

What's a politician's favorite card game? 'I Declare War!'

What do you call a lobbing politician? A spider-spinner.

Why did the politician carry a stopwatch to the debate? To time his opponents.

What do you call a politician who loves puzzles? A politi-cian.

Why did the politician go to the movies? To watch 'The Good, the Bad, and the Politician'.

Why did the politician carry a ladder to the debate? He wanted to raise the podium.