Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

A politician is a man who stands for what he thinks the people will fall for.

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

What do you call a politician who loves puzzles? A legislative mastermind.

Why did the politician go to the theater? To watch a drama that wasn't about politics.

What's a politician's favorite candy? Sour election drops.

Why did the politician bring a tape measure to the debate? To size up their competition.

Why did the politician go to the barber? To trim their campaign promises.

Why did the politician bring a yo-yo to the debate? To show off their ability to flip-flop.

What do you call a politician who loves to dance? A lobbyist-shaker.

What's a politician's favorite way to communicate? Double speak.

What do you call a politician who follows the crowd? A sheep in wolf's clothing.

Why did the politician go to the construction site? To build a platform.

Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to Congress? To see how long they could filibuster.

What do you call a politician who can't make up their mind? Indecisive-in-Chief.

Why did the politician bring a telescope to the campaign trail? To focus on the issues.

What's a politician's favorite type of cereal? Flip Flop Flakes.

Why did the politician go to the zoo? To learn how to mane-uver in the political jungle.

Why did the politician bring a magnifying glass to the rally? To enlarge their promises.

What do you call a politician who's a bad driver? Reckless legislation.

Why did the politician go to the spa? To relax after a tough debate.