What do you call a politician who can't swim? In deep political waters.

Why was the politician always on the phone? They were dialing for dollars.

What's a politician's favorite type of weather? Campaign trail mix.

Why did the politician bring a ruler to the debate? To measure their chances.

Why did the politician go to the zoo? To study the art of pandering.

What do you call a politician who's good at poker? A bluff-master.

What's a politician's favorite type of cake? Election cake with a side of flip-flops.

Why did the politician bring a flag to the campaign rally? To wave goodbye to their ethics.

Why did the politician go to the comedy club? To test their political correctness.

What do you call a politician on a diet? A campaign trailblazer.

Why did the politician bring a crystal ball to Congress? To predict the outcome of bills.

What's a politician's favorite place to visit? Campaigngrounds.

Why did the politician bring a plant to the press conference? To show how they're 'growing' in office.

Why did the politician go to the fortune teller? To see if they had a future in politics.

Why did the politician bring a compass to the town hall meeting? To navigate the tough questions.

Why did the politician go to the IT department? To learn how to delete emails.

Why did the politician go to the beach? To test the waters before the election.

Why did the politician bring a sleeping bag to the debate? In case they needed to filiblanket.

Why did the politician bring a dictionary to the speech? To define their promises.

Why did the politician go to the zoo? To see if they could spot any independent voters.

Why did the politician bring a stopwatch to the election? To make sure they had enough time to filibuster.