What's a politician's favorite weather? Polls apart.

Why did the politician sit at the back of the plane? They didn't want to be in the front row of any scandal.

Why did the politician go to the bank? To withdraw some interest.

What's a politician's favorite type of music? Lobby-rock.

How does a politician cool down? By passing the hot air through Congress.

Why did the politician get kicked out of the yoga class? They couldn't find a balanced position.

What do you call a politician who's lost an election? A campaign-loser.

Why did the politician go to the beach? To pretend all their flip-flopping was just changing with the tides.

What do you call a politician who can't handle spicy food? A moderate.

Why did the politician become a comedian? They realized that jokes were their strong suit.

What's a politician's favorite vegetable? Spinach, they're always trying to sneak it into conversations.

Why did the politician become a locksmith? They wanted to keep changing positions without anyone noticing.

What do you call a politician running on a broken platform? A wheely bad candidate.

Why did the politician switch to decaf? They realized they were already jittery enough with all the campaigning.

What do you call a politician who loves to exercise? A spin doctor.

Why did the politician become a magician? They wanted to continue pulling ideas out of thin air.

Why did the politician become a bus driver? They wanted more experience throwing people under it.

What do you call a group of politicians trying to make a decision? A deadlock.

Why did the politician become a barista? They heard that latte art was a good distraction from policy debates.

What's a politician's favorite car brand? Dodge, they're always avoiding accountability.

Why did the politician become a referee? They figured if they can't make laws, they can at least call fouls.