I used to be a dentist, but I brushed off the job.

I used to be a butcher, but I couldn't cut it.

Why did the mathematician lose a bet? Because he couldn't count on it.

I used to be a history teacher, but there's no future in it.

I used to be a musician, but I wasn't in tune with it.

I used to be a candle maker, but I just couldn't hold a flame.

I used to work in a clock factory, but I got too wound up.

I used to be a diver, but I couldn't stay afloat.

I used to be a fisherman, but I couldn't reel in the catch.

The math teacher was so boring, he made me feel obtuse.

I'm friends with a candle, it always lights up the room.

I'm friends with a bed, it's always there for me.

I'm friends with a spring, it always bounces back.

I tried to make a joke about a tree, but it woodn't work.

I used to be a doctor, but I couldn't operate.

I'm friends with a shoelace, we're always tied together.

I told a joke about a rug, but it was swept under the carpet.

I used to be a pilot, but I couldn't fly with it.

I'm friends with a candy bar, we always stick together.

I tried to make a joke about a drum, but it didn't beat well.

I used to be a scientist, but I couldn't test it out.