Why did the musician break up with the composer? They were playing different tunes.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about a ladder. She said, 'Sure.' I replied, 'Sorry, I'm still climbing up to it.'

I told my wife she should do some push-ups. Now she's trying to push me around.

Why did the ghosts break up? It was a dead relationship.

I told my wife she should do some exercises to relax. Now she's jogging my memory.

Why did the light bulb break up with the lamp? It was too controlling.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about a shovel. She said, 'Go on then.' I replied, 'Sorry, it's not my best work.'

Why did the music teacher break up with the drummer? The rhythm wasn't right.

I told my wife she should do some stretching exercises. Now she's reaching for the stars.

Why are smartphones bad at relationships? They keep dropping signals.

Why did the chef break up with the baker? They just couldn't make the dough.

I told my wife she should do some sit-ups. Now she's on the edge of her seat.

Why did the clock break up with the watch? They didn't have the time for each other.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about a calendar. She said, 'Go on then.' I replied, 'Never mind, it's days are numbered.'

I told my wife she should do puzzles to keep her mind sharp. Now she's always trying to piece things together.

Why did the boat break up with the dock? It needed more space to float around.

I asked my husband if he wanted to hear a joke about the roof. He said, 'Sure.' I replied, 'Never mind, it's over your head.'

Why did the astronaut break up with the alien? They couldn't find common ground.

I told my wife she should learn to cook. Now she's always stirring things up between us.

Why did the doctor break up with the nurse? It was a lot of pressure.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about a plant. She said yes, but I decided to leaf it alone.