Why did the burger break up with the fries? It couldn't handle the extra weight!

Why did the chicken join a dating site? To find some-buddy!

Why did the janitor break up with the mop? It was too much of a clingy relationship!

Why did the priest break up with the nun? He was no longer in the habit!

Why did the calendar break up with Valentine's Day? It found February to be too short!

What did the ocean say to the beach? Thanks for all the ex-shells!

Why did the scarecrow break up with the wind? It just kept blowing him off!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired of your puns!

How does a vampire start a love letter? 'To whom it may concern...'

Why did the couple go to the baseball game? They heard it was a home run!

Why did the man buy a paper shredder? He heard it had a great-rip-shun!

Why did the man propose to the jar of jam? He wanted to spread the love!

Doctor, doctor, my husband is obsessed with internet jokes. Get him to wait in line.

Why did the man bring a notebook to his date? He wanted to jot down romantic ideas.

Why did the woman break up with the clock? She couldn't stand its minute-by-minute updates.

Why did the woman bring a suitcase on her date? She was ready to pack up and leave at any moment.

My wife said I should do more squats to improve my relationship. I guess she thinks things are getting a little 'cheeky.'

Why did the woman break up with the banana? He wasn't appealing anymore.

I told my wife that I wanted a romantic weekend. She said, 'Sure, take a trip to the laundry room.'

My wife says I'm bad at fixing appliances but I think I'm a master of the craft. I just can't handle her wanting everything done at once!

Why did the man bring a pack of cards to his date? He wanted to deal with the relationship issues.