What do you call two spiders who just got engaged? Engaged in their web of love.

Why did the baker go on a date with the baker’s assistant? They both wanted to find their perfect match.

Why did the grape refuse to get married? He didn't want to wine-d up in a sour relationship.

Why did the skeleton go on a date by himself? Because he had no-body to go with.

Why do programmers prefer relationships that are open? Because they can't seem to close any.

How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? It gave her a ring.

Did you hear about the mathematician who broke up with his girlfriend? He finally realized she was a square root of -1.

Why did the scarecrow and the snowman break up? He was looking for someone who was a real flake.

Why did the man break up with the mathematician? He couldn't figure out their relationship problems!

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join a dance class. She said, 'Sure, but I'll be dancing my way out of this relationship!'

My wife said she wanted to go on a romantic vacation. So I booked us a trip to the nearest hardware store!

Why did the man break up with the tailor? He couldn't stitch their relationship back together!

I asked my girlfriend if she believed in soulmates. She said, 'Yes, but I think mine is stuck in traffic somewhere!'

Why did the woman break up with the musician? She couldn't handle his constant drumming!

My wife said she wanted a romantic dinner. So I cooked her a microwave meal with candlelight!

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to play hide and seek. She said, 'Sure, you hide and I'll seek someone else!'

Why did the woman break up with the baker? He was too kneady in the relationship!

My wife said she wanted to go to a fancy restaurant. So I took her to the nearest drive-thru!

Why did the man break up with the gardener? He couldn't handle all the weeding in their relationship!

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go on a treasure hunt. She said, 'Sure, the treasure is at the mall, and you're buying!'

My wife said she wanted to go stargazing. So I bought her a telescope and pointed it at our neighbor's window!