I asked my wife if she wanted to try a double date. She said, 'Sure, as long as it's with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie'.

Why did the couple break up after going to the art museum? They couldn't find a good connection.

I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice things up. Now he brings hot sauce to bed.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go to a comedy club. She said, 'Only if it's to see my ex perform'.

Why did the man propose at the zoo? He wanted a wild relationship.

Why did the woman break up with the chef? He kept cooking up excuses for their problems.

My girlfriend said she wanted to have a deep conversation, so I asked her how deep she wanted to go. She said 'all the way to the bottom of your wallet'.

I asked my wife what the secret to a happy marriage is. She said 'forgetting your anniversary'.

My boyfriend asked me if I believe in love at first sight. I told him I'll let him know the next time I see someone better.

I told my husband he should treat our relationship like a bank account. He asked why, and I said 'because you never seem to deposit any love'.

I asked my wife if she believes in ghosts. She said yes, because she's been living with one for years.

My boyfriend told me he's an astronaut because he's always spaced out. I guess that explains why our relationship is in orbit.

I told my husband I want to have a date night. He said, 'Sure, which episode are we on?'

My girlfriend asked me what I see in her. I said 'an empty wallet and a full heart'.

My boyfriend told me he loves me more than anything in the world. I said 'except for video games, right?'

I told my husband we need to work on our communication. He asked if texting counts.

My girlfriend said she wanted a man who can cook. I asked her if being able to microwave counts.

My boyfriend said he wants us to be like Romeo and Juliet. I said 'so you want us both to die?'

I told my husband I want more excitement in our relationship. He suggested we go to IKEA on a Saturday.

I asked my wife if she believes in soulmates. She said 'I thought you were the plumber'.

My boyfriend told me he was going to surprise me. He brought home a vacuum cleaner.