Why did the grape stop dating the raisin? It was tired of all the bad dates.

Why did the coffee file for divorce? It found out its partner was a real drip.

Why did the smartphone break up with the tablet? They just couldn't find a good connection.

I asked my boyfriend if he ever thinks about the future. He said, 'Yeah, the next episode of our favorite show.'

Why did the calendar break up with the clock? It felt like too much time was ticking away.

My girlfriend said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side. So I gave her my credit card.

Why did the light bulb break up with the outlet? It felt like it was always getting screwed.

Why did the book break up with the bookmark? It felt like it was being held back.

My boyfriend said I needed to spice things up in our relationship. So I bought a jumbo bottle of hot sauce.

Why did the tree break up with the oak? It was tired of all the acorns rolling around.

My girlfriend asked me if I could be more romantic. So I bought her a bouquet of pizza slices.

Why did the sock break up with the shoe? It was tired of always getting walked all over.

I asked my husband if he wanted to hear a joke about the refrigerator. He said, 'Sure, but keep it cool.'

What did the calculator say to the student who confused love with math? 'You're not my type.'

I asked my boyfriend why he carries a map everywhere he goes. He said, 'In case we get lost in each other's eyes.'

Why did the grape stop dating? It didn't want to wine about its past relationships.

I told my husband I wanted to feel like a teenager again. He handed me a bottle of acne cream.

Why did the couple go to therapy at the bakery? They kneaded help with their relationship.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field of dating.

Why did the cheese break up with the tomato? It couldn't bear to see it with another slice of bread.

I would tell you a joke about my relationship but it needs some work.