If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Marriage is all about give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

I bought my wife a fridge for her birthday. You should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

My wife told me to stop singing 'Wonderwall.' I asked her, 'Maybe...'

Relationships are like algebra. You look at your X and try to figure out Y.

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.

I asked my husband if he wanted to hear a joke about construction. He said he was still building up to it.

I told my boyfriend he should embrace his mistakes. He gave me a fist bump.

Why did the man bring a shovel to his date? He heard things were starting to dig deep.

Why did the woman break up with the gardener? He wasn't ready to plant roots.

I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a high five.

Why did the woman break up with the musician? She was tired of all the drama.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a round of applause.

Why did the man propose to the mirror? He saw his future reflected in it.

I told my boyfriend he should embrace his mistakes. He gave me a high five.

Why did the man propose to the calculator? He couldn't count on anything else.

I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a standing ovation.

Why did the man propose to the mountain? He wanted their love to peak.

Why did the man bring a map to his date? In case the conversation got lost.

I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a pat on the back.

Why did the math book break up with the science book? They couldn't find a common denominator.