Jokes about dating, marriage, and romantic relationships.
My girlfriend said she wanted a romantic getaway. So I took her to the kitchen and made her watch me do the dishes.
Why did the man propose to the baker? He kneaded someone to love.
Why did the cell phone break up with the GPS? It couldn't handle the constant directions.
Why did the man break up with his calendar? He couldn't find the right date.
My wife told me to stop imitating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Why do programmers make great partners? They code love into everything they do.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to do for date night. She said, 'Anything as long as it's with you.' So I took that as a hint to go out with my buddies.
Why did the man propose to the historian? He wanted a relationship with a lot of history.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She turned to me and said, 'Honey, that's what you're here for.'
Why did the man bring a pencil to his date? He heard they had a good 'write' chemistry.
My wife told me she loves when I whisper sweet nothings in her ear. So I told her, 'Nothings.'
Why don't skeletons start dating until they're at least 18 years old? Because they need to reach bone maturity first.
Why did the man bring a map to his date? He heard they had a lot of chemistry and didn't want to get lost in it.
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes, but it usually involves me doing the laundry and cooking dinner.
Why did the man bring a pencil to his romantic dinner? In case his date was drawing a blank.
Why did the scarecrow break up with the corn? He heard it was too ear-responsible.
You can't run away from your problems. Unless you're dating a gym addict.
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, and she said yes – about me helping with the household chores.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired from trying to impress its date.
Relationships are a lot like a book. Sometimes you need to skip a few pages to get to the good part.
Why do relationships make terrible detectives? They always jump to conclusions.