My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I call him my everything. Personally, I think he's just irrational.

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That’ll teach her to walk all over me.

I used to date a baker because he made me feel kneaded.

Why did the man break up with his gym? They weren't working out.

Why did the man bring a ladder to his date? He heard he needed to take things to the next level.

Why do couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.

Why did the smartphone break up with the TV? It found someone more touch-screen.

My girlfriend told me I'm terrible at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock.

My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall all the time. I said maybe.

Why did the couple break up at the nudist colony? They just couldn't see eye to eye.

I asked my husband what he wanted for his birthday. He said, 'Nothing would make me happier.' So I got him a box.

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant for date night? They heard they had a good clam-up atmosphere.

Why did the man bring a ladder on his date? To take things to the next level.

Why did the woman break up with the grape? Because it was raisin the roof.

My wife told me she won the argument. I guess sportsmanship is key.

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay fit. She told me I can lunge for the couch.

Why did the man break up with his barber? He felt like their relationship was cut short.

Why did the woman break up with the banker? She thought he was too invested in his work.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to hear a joke about time travel. She said, 'Never mind, you wouldn't get it.'

Why did the man break up with his shoe? It couldn't tie him down.

Why did the woman break up with the tennis player? Love means nothing to them.