My boyfriend said I was average. That's just mean.

Why do bananas never get into relationships? Because they're always getting peeled.

Why did the computer break up with the internet? It couldn't handle the scrolling.

Why did the man propose to his Kindle? He couldn't find a better match.

What do you call a relationship without trust? A jigsaw puzzle missing a piece.

My girlfriend thinks I'm too competitive. I'll show her who's the best at being humble.

Why did the man break up with his dentist? She couldn't handle the gap in their relationship.

My wife said I'm terrible at fixing things. So I changed the lock on the door - now I can't get back in.

Why did the football coach go to couples therapy? His relationship was stuck in a halftime show loop.

I recently started dating a baker, but I think she's just in it for the dough.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she replied, 'Yes, about me taking out the trash.'

Why did the forgetful man propose to his girlfriend? Because he wanted to make a lasting impression.

I told my husband we should try some role-playing in the bedroom. He said he would be the plumber and I could be the disappointed housewife.

When my girlfriend told me I was average, I said, 'That's just mean.'

Why did the man sleep under the car? He wanted to get up oily in the morning.

I asked my wife if she wanted to renew our vows for our anniversary, she said, 'Why? We haven't used the first ones.'

I told my girlfriend she should do more squats to improve her posture. She dumped me.

Why did the man bring a ladder on his date? He heard it was a high-steaks relationship.

Why did the computer break up with the internet? It couldn't get a connection.

I told my wife she should be more affectionate. Now she greets me with 'Hello, affectionate.'

Why did the man get engaged to a tennis player? Love meant nothing to her.