Why did the day break up with the night? They just couldn't see eye to eye.

Why did the man bring a pencil to his date? He wanted to draw out their relationship.

My wife told me she wants to be treated like a queen, so I made her wear a crown while she does laundry.

Why do melons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe!

Why did the man break up with his tailor? He thought their relationship was seamly.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more romantic, so I bought her a new vacuum cleaner.

Why did the couple go to the therapist? They were tired of keeping their issues bottled up.

I told my wife she should do cardio to stay in shape. She agreed and now she runs marathons... away from me.

Why did the tomato turn down the potato's proposal? Because it wouldn't be a good match.

My husband said he wanted to be treated like a king. So I made him sleep on a lumpy mattress in a cold castle.

Why did the man bring a rope to his date? He wanted to tie the knot.

My boyfriend told me he needed space, so I locked him outside.

Why did the couple go to the therapist? They heard it was the key to unlocking their relationship's potential.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me cooking dinner every night.

Why did the man propose to the ocean? He wanted to make a wave in his love life.

My husband said he wanted a grand gesture for our anniversary, so I sent him a singing telegram... asking for a divorce.

Why did the couple go to the pastry shop? They wanted to see if their relationship could rise to the occasion.

I told my wife she should try new things in the bedroom. So now she sleeps on the floor.

Why did the man propose to his chef? He couldn't resist her culinary talents.

My wife asked me to take her to a place she's never been before. So I took her to the kitchen.

Why did the couple go to the paint store? They wanted to add some color to their relationship.