Why did the man break up with his treadmill? It just wasn't working out.

Did you hear about the mathematician who broke up with his girlfriend? He found someone with more curves.

Why did the romance novel break up with the dictionary? It felt like their relationship lacked depth.

Why did the couple go to the therapist? They needed help resolving their attachment issues.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to treat her like a queen. So I married her off to a king from a neighboring kingdom.

Why did the psychology textbook break up with the sociology textbook? They couldn't agree on the reasons for their problems.

I told my wife she should do squats to stay in shape. But that's just beneath her.

Why did the man bring a bouquet of pencils on his date? He heard it was a 'write' occasion.

My ex-girlfriend is like the square root of -100. A solid 10, but also imaginary.

Why did the mathematician break up with his graph paper? They couldn't find a common axis.

I asked my wife what the key to a successful marriage is. She changed the locks.

Why did the man get a pet snake for his girlfriend? He wanted to see if love really can conquer all.

I told my wife she should do more cardio to stay in shape. She's been running away from the idea.

Why did the bibliophile break up with the librarian? He found someone who checked out more often.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a star. So I turned her into a giant ball of gas and plasma.

Why did the couple go to the animal shelter? They heard it was a great place to find 'purr'-fect matches.

I was going to tell my wife a time travel joke, but she just couldn't get it.

Why did the inventor break up with his partner? They couldn't come up with a good solution.

My boyfriend keeps telling me I'm average. He's just being mean.

Why did the man break up with his calendar? He couldn't find a date.

I told my girlfriend she should do the dishes to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.