Why did the pillow file a restraining order? It couldn't handle getting smothered every night.

What did the grape say to the plum? You're plum perfect for me!

Why did the dentist break up with his partner? They had a lot of plaque in their relationship.

How did the programmer impress his date? He wrote her a love code.

Why did the geologist bring his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to rock her world.

Why did the bicycle fall over when it saw its crush? It got two-tired from excitement.

How did the electrician propose to his girlfriend? With a shocking ring.

What did the paper say to the pencil? You're write for me.

Why did the couple go to the baseball game on their anniversary? They heard it was a home run.

How do you know if your partner is a chef? They always spice up your life.

Why did the tree break up with the sun? It was tired of getting too much shade.

What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me, we make a great pair.

Why did the cell phone break up with the calculator? It couldn't count on it.

Why did the scarecrow break up with the corn? It was too husky.

Why did the music teacher break up with the piano? They were always off key.

Why did the chef break up with the oven? It couldn't stand the heat.

Why did the gardener break up with the lawnmower? It was always cutting in.

Why did the janitor break up with the mop? It was too absorbent.

Why did the astronaut break up with the moon? They were too far apart.

Why did the photographer break up with the camera? It couldn't focus.

Why did the scientist break up with the beaker? It couldn't handle its volume.