Why did the cyclist break up with the bike? It couldn't handle the pressure.

Why did the basketball player break up with the basketball? It kept bouncing back.

Why did the baker break up with the dough? It kneaded too much space.

Why did the teacher break up with the chalkboard? It was always drawing a line.

Why did the tailor break up with the needle? It always pricked the wrong way.

Why did the surgeon break up with the scalpel? It couldn't make a clean cut.

Why did the painter break up with the canvas? It couldn't handle the brush off.

Why did the carpenter break up with the hammer? It kept hitting on other tools.

Why did the magician break up with the hat? It couldn't pull off any tricks.

Why did the comedian break up with the microphone? It couldn't handle the feedback.

Why did the geologist break up with the rock? It was too sedimental.

Why did the man break up with his calendar? Because it had too many dates.

Why did the smartphone break up with the internet? They had a bad connection.

Why did the pillow file for divorce? It couldn't handle the pillow talk anymore.

Why did the man propose to the ocean? He wanted to sea forever.

Why did the dentist break up with the tooth? It was causing too much plaque in the relationship.

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant on their anniversary? They heard it was a plaice for romantic dinner.

Why did the balloon break up with the pin? It just couldn't handle the pressure.

Why did the computer break up with the printer? It felt like it was getting too attached.

Why did the man propose to the baker? Because he wanted to be kneaded.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for our anniversary. She said, 'Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.' So I got her nothing.