Why did the woman break up with the painter? He was too brush-y with his emotions.

Why did the man bring a book to his date? He wanted to write a new chapter in their relationship.

What did the fork say to the spoon? You stir something in me.

Why did the woman break up with the butcher? He had too many meaty issues.

Why did the woman break up with the magician? He kept disappearing on her.

Why did the man bring a flashlight to his date? He wanted to see things in a new light.

Why did the man bring a thermometer to his date? He wanted to make sure there were no cold feet.

Why did the man bring a book to his date? He wanted to start a new chapter in their relationship.

Why did the woman break up with the photographer? He was always focusing on the negatives.

Why did the woman break up with the tailor? He kept needling her about everything.

Why did the woman break up with the butcher? He was always bringing home the bacon.

Why did the man bring a pillow to his date? He wanted to make sure it was a dream come true.

Why did the man propose to his treadmill? He couldn't resist its exercise commitment!

How did the telephone propose to its charger? With a ringtone!

Why did the boy bring a ladder to his girlfriend's house? He wanted to make a good impression.

How did the ocean propose to the beach? With a tidal wave of love!

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard it had the best mussels in town.

What did the calculator say to the pencil on their date? You can count on me.

Why do programmers prefer relationships with compilers? They always know how to debug.

My husband and I are having a date night tonight. He'll be watching TV, and I'll be on my phone. True romance!

I asked my wife if she ever wants to be treated like a princess. She said yes, but then she complained when I locked her in the tower.