I told my husband he should do more cardio. He said, 'What, like more card games?'

Why did the woman bring a pencil to her date? To draw out the conversation.

My wife said I should do more chores around the house. So I hired a maid.

Why did the man propose to his girlfriend at the gym? He wanted to squat down on one knee.

I asked my boyfriend if he thought I was pretty. He said, 'You're pretty annoying.'

Why did the man break up with the map? He just couldn't find his way to her heart.

I told my girlfriend she should go to the gym. She said, 'What, like all the time?'

Why did the woman break up with the vacuum cleaner salesman? He sucked at relationships.

Why did the woman break up with the banker? He was too invested in their relationship.

I told my boyfriend he should learn to cook. He said, 'I already know how to microwave.'

Why did the man bring a watch on his date? To make sure they had a timely relationship.

Why did the woman break up with the dentist? He had a flossy attitude.

I told my boyfriend he should go on a diet. He said, 'What do you mean, we go on them together.'

Why did the man break up with the bakery? He couldn't handle the yeast infections.

Why did the man propose to his toaster? Because he couldn't find a better toast mate!

Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? Because she was too transparent.

Did you hear about the couple who met on a dating app for gardeners? They really hit it off!

Why did the chef break up with his girlfriend? She kept buttering him up.

Why did the bicycle stay single? It was two tired to date!

Why did the two melons run away together to get married? Because they cantaloupe!

Why do skeletons make bad boyfriends? They have no heart to give.