What kind of tea do the zealous religious leaders drink? Pi-tea - because it's irrational and goes on forever.

Why did the lettuce go to church? To pray for a good dressing.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.

How does the Vatican communicate with extraterrestrials? Through Pope-tarts.

Why couldn't the leopard change his religion? He couldn't change his spots.

What do you call a religious football game? A prayer bowl.

What did the grape say after the sermon? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Why did the scarecrow win an award for being the most religious? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why do they never serve beer at church events? Because it's a sin to drink and drive.

Why did the baker go to Bible study? He heard they were breaking bread.

Why do monks like to work in the dark? Because they're into the night shift.

What did the preacher say to the athlete? Let us sprint the word of God.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself in front of the church? It was two-tired from all the 'holy' rides!

What did the preacher say to the competitive weightlifter? 'Let us lift up our spirits together!'

Why did the turkey attend church services? It wanted to give thanks for being pardoned!

What do you get when you mix a superhero with a nun? Someone who can really 'pray' the rosary!

Why don't penguins make good religious leaders? They're always getting cold feet when it's time to preach!

Why did the pastor bring a suitcase to the church service? He wanted the congregation to 'baggage' their sins away!

What do you call a choir of ghosts in a cathedral? 'Spiritual harmonies'!

Why did the pirate attend church services? He heard there were 'soul' treasures to be found!

What do you call a cow that meditates? Holy cow, it's in a 'moo' state of mind!