Why did the Dalai Lama go to the beach? He wanted to achieve inner sandity.

How do you organize a space themed church service? You planet.

Why did the gym close down the yoga class? People were just bending over backwards for it.

Why did the zombie go to church? He heard they had a lot of organs.

Why doesn't the Pope play cards? Because he always gets the hole-y hand.

Why don't chickens attend church? They use their eggs-cuses to avoid Sunday mass.

What do you get when you cross a mummy and a vampire? A sermon that goes on forever.

Why do demons never get lost? They always have hell-raisers to guide them.

Why did the Hindu priest lose the soccer game? Because every time he got a corner, he opened a convenience store.

Why did Moses never play hide and seek? Because he always got caught by the Red Sea.

I would tell you a joke about the Holy Trinity, but it's a bit of a mystery.

I asked the priest if he knew any jokes about Jonestown. He said he couldn't do any punchlines.

What do you call someone who steals church pianos? A 'key' felon!

What do you call a detective who investigates religious mysteries? A 'holy' detective!

Why did the tree go to church? It wanted to root for the congregation!

What hymn do cows love to sing at church? 'Moo-sic of the heart'!

Why did the astronaut bring an offering to space? He heard it was 'out of this world'!

What do you call a priest who's also a magician? Father 'Abraca-dabra'!

Why did the yoga instructor become a nun? She wanted to 'soul'-search in a different way!

Did you hear about the baker who opened a religious bakery? He makes 'holy' rolls!

Why was the math teacher always calm during class? Because he had 'patience' like a saint!