What do you call a nun who rides a bike? Virgin Mobile.

What do you call someone who steals holy water? A klepto-maniac.

Why did the elephant bring a Bible to the parade? He wanted to be trunk in the Lord.

What is a shark's favorite Bible story? Jonah and the Whale.

Why don't scientists trust geologists? They take everything for granite.

Do you know why the pastor didn't trust the stairs? Because they were always up to something.

Why do melons have elaborate weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

Why was the choir book sad? It had too many notes.

Why did the priest go to the dentist? He needed a little divine intervention.

Why did the pastor carry a briefcase? To deliver the good news.

What do you get when you cross a monk and a skydiver? A friar fall.

How does the Pope like his pizza? Holy and extra papal.

What do you call a group of singing birds? A church choir.

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up some pants.

Why did the priest go to the golf course? He heard it was a holey place.

Why did the rabbi open a deli? He wanted to cater to all Jewish tastes.

Why did the Christian comedian get hired for the church event? He had a good cross-over appeal.

Why did the Hindu go to the optometrist? He was having trouble seeing clearly with all his eyes.

Why did the imam bring a ladder to the mosque? He wanted to pray on a higher level.

Why did the Pope switch to decaf? He wanted to achieve instant saint-hood.

Why did the pastor start a gardening business? He wanted to get his congregation to root for him.