Why did the Zen monk refuse a second cup of coffee? He wanted to remain grounded.

What did the grape say during Mass? Amen-d to that.

Why was the math teacher always at church? She always had numbers to multiply.

What do you call a bear who says his prayers? A grizzly preacher.

Why did the nun bring a pencil to the church service? To take sermon notes.

What did Noah say when the animals wouldn't listen? Don't make me come down there!

Why do vampires never go to church? They don't want to get any holy water on them.

What do you call a religious chicken? A Deviled egg.

Why was the priest always calm during a crisis? He had a lot of faith in a good outcome.

What do you call a nun in space? A celestial sister.

Why was the pastor good at fishing? He always knew how to reel in the sinners.

What do you call a choir made up of criminals? A con-sonance choir.

Why was the yoga instructor great at church? He knew how to get everyone to find inner peace.

Why did the pastor start a bakery? He wanted to make holy rolls.

What do you call a priest's workout routine? Cross-fit.

Why did the nun go to the dentist? She had a bad habbit of not flossing.

What do you call a group of musicians who only play at religious events? A sacramental band.

How does a priest greet people at a football game? With a holy kickoff.

Why did the rabbi carry a map? In case he needed directions to the promised land.

What do you call a religious superhero? Miracleman.

Why was the church computer struck by lightning? It had a bad connection to the cloud.