What did the Buddhist say when he walked into a pizza place? Make me one with everything, extra cheese on top.

Why did the pastor go to the beach? To catch some waves of salvation.

What do you call a nun who bakes bread? A knead-y sister.

Why did the atheist go to church? To see if the collection plate had any change in beliefs.

What's a priest's favorite type of food? A dogma sandwich.

How do you get rid of a sinful computer? You baptize it with holy water.

Why do monkeys make terrible priests? They keep monkeying around during sermons.

What did the Christian lion say to the Roman gladiator? You can't defeat me, I'm a mane believer.

Why don't witches play hide and seek in the church? The stakes are too high.

Why did the pastor start a bakery? To make holy rolls.

What do you call a nun who works at a brewery? Sister Lager.

Why do demons never get invited to religious gatherings? They have a hell of a reputation.

Why do vampire bats go to church? They need to find some praymates.

Why was the choir teacher always calm? Because he knew how to keep things hymn line.

What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large, just like a saint with a big heart.

Why was the belt arrested at the church? It held up too many prayers.

How did the zombie get kicked out of the church? He kept eating the scripture scrolls, they were too heavenly.

Why did the religious student ace his exam? He had divine intelligence.

What did the preacher say to the snowman? Do you wanna build a blessing?

Why did the chicken join the church choir? It had a good peck for music.

What do you call a holy mammal? A pray-ssassin.