What did the atheist say to the nun offering a pamphlet? 'No thank you, I'm not convert-able.'

Why did the pastor decide to become a gardener? He wanted to help sow seeds of faith.

Why did the chicken join the church choir? It had a good egg-singing voice.

What did the preacher do when his shoes wore out? He preached barefoot.

What did the grape say after the sermon? 'I heard it through the vine.'

Why did the nun go to the baseball game? She heard they were doing a lot of praying.

Why don't chefs work on Sundays? Because they need a little thyme off.

Why don't ghost go to church? They can't handle the holy water.

What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Chrysler - the Bible says the disciples were all in one Accord.

Why did Noah only have two cows on the ark? He had to hoof it.

What happened when Moses went to Mount Olive? Popeye tried to stop a holy war.

Why don't astronauts get struck by lightning? Because they always wear a good conductor.

How does a priest cut his hair? He uses a halo.

Why did the choir kids go to the beach? To catch some rays.

Why did the tomato go to church? It heard the salad dressing was divine.

What's a priest's favorite game? Sin-der!

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocain when getting a tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

Why did the chicken start its own church? To rule the roost spiritually!

What did the pious vegetarian say to the meat lover? Lettuce pray for your soul!

Why was Moses such a good basketball player? He always took it to the hoop!

Why was the robot interested in religion? It heard they had good programs!