Why was the bicycle arrested? For being a cycle path.

Why do vampires go to church? To get some holy water for their coffins.

Why couldn't the zombie get into the church service? It was too dead inside.

Why don't astronauts make good priests? They're always spaced out.

Why did the scarecrow become a priest? He had a lot of straw-faith.

Why did the bicycle find inner peace? It attended a zen cycle class.

Why couldn't the ghost find a job at the church? He couldn't deal with the boo-reaucracy.

Why did the thief go to church? He wanted to make a confession.

What type of car do angels drive? A Halo.

Why did Noah stop working on his ark? He took a rain check.

Why did the zombie go to church? He wanted to raise the dead.

Why did the zombie refuse communion? It didn't want to eat the body of Christ.

How did the angel know it was time for choir practice? It heard the heavenly harmony.

Why did the pilgrim break up with his girlfriend? She wanted to be a settle down.

Why was the cat so good at Bible study? It had nine lives to read it multiple times.

Why did the can of soup go to church? It needed a little can-fession.

Why was the pastor always jogging? He wanted to exercise his faith.

How did the zombie convert to Christianity? He saw the light, and it looked tasty.

Why is it hard for a fig tree to attend church? It keeps fig-hting the urge to sleep.

What did the nun say to the squirrel? Holy nuts!

Why did the baker become a rabbi? He wanted to knead the dough and the Torah.