Why did the chicken go to church? To poultry in the name of the Lord!

What do you call a nun who grows flowers? A sister who botanizes!

Why don't aliens attend church services? They have their own extraterrestrial beliefs!

Did you hear about the balloon who became a monk? It wanted to be more uplifting!

Why did the broom start going to church? It was looking to sweep away its sins!

What do you call a nun on a bicycle? Virgin Mobile 2.0!

Why did the banana go to church? To find a-peel amongst the congregation!

Why don't birds use email to communicate? Because they prefer tweet-ing!

Did you hear about the devil who opened a bakery? He was known for his sinful pastries!

Why did the mirror start going to church? It wanted to reflect on its inner self!

How do you teach a Roman soldier to swim? Throw him into the Tiber and cross your fingers!

Why did the preacher install a new sound system? So he could pump up the volume!

How did the mummy walk on water? He turned the Nile into wine!

Why was the computer so religious? It had a lot of hard drives!

What did the rabbi say to the Queen Bee? You're the chosen one!

Have you heard of the new pirate religion? It's called Pastafarianism!

Why don't witches fly their brooms when they're angry? They don't want to lose their temper!

How do you make a witch itch? Take away the 'w'!

What do you call a polite demon? A well-mannered monster!

How does God make his coffee? Hebrews it!

What do you call a group of unorganized Franciscans? A clutter of Friars!