Why do monks make great detectives? They have nun-parallel investigation skills.

How did the computer get over its virus? It prayed to the software god.

Why did the atheist go to church? He was looking for a new 'belief system.'

How did the Bible study group break the ice? They went with 'Let he who is without sin cast the first pun.'

How did the hipster priest perform exorcisms? He used non-GMO holy water.

Why did the gym close down the yoga studio? They weren't flexible with their rent.

Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? To take his preaching to a higher level.

Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything.

What is a priest's favorite gamer snack? Holy chips.

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? GRRRAAAAAAINS.

What do you call an illegal church meeting? Unlawful congregation.

How does a penguin build its church? Igloos it together.

Why did the scarecrow go to church? To hear the Good Stalk.

What do you call a group of music-loving priests? A choir-archy.

Why did the atheist throw his watch out the window? He wanted to free up some time.

How does a nun pay for her coffee? With pray-pal.

Why did the choir boy go to jail? He got caught for harmony.

What's the best day to cook a religious meal? Fry-day.

Why do demons never get lost? They have hell-nav.

What game do religious children play in the playground? Psalm and crosses.

What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father in-law.