What do you call a sleep-deprived Pope? Vatican't keep his eyes open.

Why did the nun start a landscaping business? She had a habit of caring for the garden.

What do you call a group of friars on a unicycle? Monk-y business.

Why don't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? 'It's Christmas, Eve!'

Why did the Buddhist refuse to vacuum? He didn't believe in attachments.

How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups? Tell her she's pregnant!

What do you call a fake pasta dish? An im-pasta!

How did the priest win the talent show? With his altar ego!

Why don't witches practice their spells on Good Friday? They can only cast spells, not curses!

Why do vampires carry a Bible in their pocket? In case of a stakeout.

What does a ghost call his secret admirer? His boo.

How did the thief see the priest at night? He stole a light.

Why was the church cookbook so popular? It had heavenly recipes.

Why did the preacher switch to a plant-based diet? He wanted to deliver sermons with a little more kale.

What do you call a spiritual monkey? A medita-ape.

Why was the mummy such a big fan of Christmas? He loved the wrapping.

What do you call a nun with a washing machine? Sister Mary Clean.

Why did Noah go fishing? He needed to catch his dinner two by two.

Why do ghosts go to church? To improve their boos-t.

What do you call a sleepwalking pastor? A roamin' Catholic.