What do you call a cleric who sings outside your house at night? A preacher on the porch.

How did the lion greet the Christian band? 'Praise be to Roar'.

Why did the grape stop attending church? It had a vine intervention.

What do you call a fish who practices Buddhism? Zen-guin.

Why couldn't the Buddhist find his keys? Because he left them in his car-ma.

How do you make a holy waterbed? You baptize it!

Why was the skeleton always calm? It had a lot of backbone.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor who asked him to make it all? 'Make me one with everything'.

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Synonym rolls.

How does the Pope get around? He uses a Papal helicopter.

What game do elephants play during church service? Pew pew.

What did the preacher say to the comedian? 'That was a great sermon, you really nailed it'.

Why did the soloist go broke? Because they lost their choir-gins.

What's a priest's favorite type of car? A convert-ible.

Why don't bicycles attend church? They're always two-tired.

How do you make a holy sandwich? You use miracle whip.

What's a nun's favorite movie? Sister Act.

Why was the scarecrow looking for a new job? He wanted to branch out.

What did the hot dog vendor say to the Buddhist monk? 'Make me one with everything'.

Why did the Dalai Lama go to a comedy club? He wanted a little enlightenment.

Why did the vegan monk go to the garden? He wanted some inner-peas.