Why do nuns always travel in pairs? One to drive and one to pray.

Why don't vampires go to church? They have a bat attitude.

I told a chemistry joke at church, but nobody reacted. Guess all the good ones argon.

Why did the grape stop going to church? Because it couldn't find peace in the wine.

Why don't some fish like being baptized? They prefer to stay in deep water.

Why did the zombie go to church? To get some soul food.

What did the nun say to the priest in the vegetable garden? Lettuce pray.

How do you make a tissue dance in church? Put a little boogey in it.

Why did the computer go to church? It had a lot of data to process.

Why did the golfer carry extra socks to church? In case he got a hole in one.

Why did the pastor carry a ladder to church? To reach new heights in spirituality.

Why did the ghost go to church? To say its boos.

Why did the preacher carry a stopwatch during the sermon? To make sure it was a timer well spent.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to church? Because it had no body to go with.

What did Jesus say when he was handed a tambourine? Take this and drum in remembrance of me.

Why do demons never have success with church bake sales? Because they can't handle 'holy' cookies.

Why did the baker go to church? To find some bread of life.

How does the Pope communicate with the Vatican? By Popeemail.

Why do pirates make terrible religious leaders? They arrr-gue too much.

Why don't trees ever attend church? They prefer to worship nature.

Why was the choir director tired? Because he faced treble all day.