Why was the pastor's garden so fruitful? He had a direct line to the heavens.

Why did the psychic go to church? To connect with the spiritual Wi-Fi.

Why do rabbis make great chefs? They know how to kosher the kitchen.

Why did the bishop go to the doctor? He had a crisis of faith.

What's a monk's favorite type of math? Division, they're good at splitting things up.

Why do priests prefer smartphones over flip phones? They're always looking for a higher calling.

Why did the pastor always carry a flashlight? To shine a light on sin.

What do you call a nun with a cold? A chilly sister.

What do you call a fight between the Pope and a lawyer? Judgment day.

Why did the pastor bring a knife to church? To cut the devil's food cake.

Why did the Imam bring a dictionary to the mosque? To find the true meaning of 'peace'.

What's a vampire's favorite type of prayer? Thirsting for forgiveness.

Why did the pastor switch to decaf? He wanted a more holy ground.

What did the priest say to the golfer? 'You're in the hole, my son.'

Why do witches make great church organists? They have wicked-good skills.

Why do monks prefer email over letters? It's a faster way to reach nirvana.

What do you call a kangaroo that converts to Christianity? A hop-tist.

Why did the priest sit in the sun for hours? He wanted to achieve higher levels of enlightenment.

What do you call a group of nuns on roller skates? Sisters in glide.

Why couldn't the new pastor find his car in the parking lot? He was looking for a Genesis.

What did the preacher say to the credit card thief? 'Thou shall not steal.'