What do you get when you cross a snowman with a priest? Frosty blessing.

What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their game in church? Chess him, they're pious.

Why was the calendar cold on New Year's Eve? Because it had too many dates.

Why do monks live in monasteries? Because no one wants to hear 'I told you so' in the middle of the night.

Did you hear about the person who started a bakery in a church? They make holy rolls!

I told a chemistry joke in church, but nobody laughed. I guess all the good ones argon.

I asked the priest if he could recommend a good exorcist. He said, 'Yes, the steak sandwich is particularly delicious.'

Why did the pastor start a poultry farm? He wanted to raise the tithe.

Why did the hipster nun join the convent? She heard they had a habit of thrift shopping.

How do we know Moses was a success with the ladies? He had a rod that could part the Red Sea.

Why did the lifeguard become a priest? He loved making holy water.

Why did the judge marry the baker? He knew she'd never loaf around!

Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He had a lot of straw-nium!

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? She was caught trying to book a flight!

Why did the nun go to the airport? She heard they had heavenly baggage claim!

How did the astronaut organize a space party? He planet-ed!

What do you call a gorilla wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Why did the choir singer go broke? Because he didn't have enough notes!

What do you call a nun who skydives? A flying sister!

Why did the pastor carry a briefcase to church? To store his bibles and sermons!

What do you call a nun who bakes bread? A kneading sister!