Why do angels always know the password? Because it's a heavenly access code.

Why did the pastor bring a pencil to the sermon? In case he made a holy error.

What's a nun's favorite type of sandwich? A prayer-olive and cheese.

Why did the pastor have to start a band? To reach a higher octave.

Why did the seminary student bring a knife to class? To dissect the Word of God.

Why was the math teacher hired to sing at the church? Because he had good divi-sions.

What did the nun say to the priest in the garden? 'Holy smokes, Father, your tulips are really blooming!'

Why did the atheist go to church on Easter? He heard they were giving away free crosses.

What do you call a cat that attends church? A purr-ayer.

How did the priest fix his broken window? With a prayer and some stained glass.

Why do vampires never enter churches? They can't handle holy water shots.

Why was the pastor's sermon like a baseball game? Three strikes and you're out!

Why did the magician become a monk? He wanted to perform holy tricks.

Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry? They'd be flying off the handle.

What do you call a praying mantis in church? A reverend.

Why don't cows go to church? They've already herd the word.

What did the Hindu mom say to her son when he asked for seconds? 'Don't be selfish, think of Krishna.'

Why did the skeleton go to the concert alone? He had no body to go with him.

How do you organize a space party in heaven? You planet.

Why do witches don't play cricket? Because they don't like bats.

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve on Christmas? 'It's finally Christmas, Eve!'