Why was the math book sad on Sunday? It had too many problems!

Why did the teacher go to heaven? She passed away!

Why did the vegan break up with the yoga instructor? They had a falling-out over meat!

Why did the priest go to the gym? To work on his cross fit!

Why do ghosts love going to church? It's a hauntingly good time!

How did the priest fix the church bell? He gave it a ring-forcement!

I asked the gym manager if I could use the bench press. He said, 'I could see you do that.'

Why did the pun-loving vampire become a priest? He wanted to sermon-ate.

What do you get when you cross a burglar and a church singer? Someone who steals the show.

Why was the pastor's phone always on silent? He had a lot of missed calls from Heaven.

Why did the skeleton want to be a preacher? He had a lot of backbone.

Why did the vegan break up with his girlfriend? He couldn't deal with her hymn-singing.

How does Santa Claus stay so jolly during Christmas? He holds on to his faith in presents.

Why did the priest go to the gym? To get that Holy Spirit!

How did the pastor fix his jeans? With a prayer and a stitch.

What do you call a group of church singers? A hymn-asty.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a priest? A blood donation.

Why was the choir in church always on time? They had divine timing!

Why was the baby strawberry crying in church? It's parents were in a jam!

Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down? Because they're beltless in the Holy Land!

How do you know Noah was a great investor? He was floating his stocks!