What did the priest say to the polar bear? I'll use my parishioners as ice-breakers!

Why was the pirate such a bad priest? He couldn't stop saying 'Arrr-men!'

Why did the computer go to church? It had a bad connection to the internet!

What do you call a nun with a vendetta? Sister Sledge!

Why did the atheist refuse to eat figs? Because they had too many commandments!

Why did the monk refuse dessert? He was trying to stay monk-stains!

Why couldn't the skeleton go to church? Because it had no organs to worship with!

Why did the tomato dress up for church? It wanted to look ripe for the occasion!

What do you call a nun who likes to gamble? Sister Luck!

Why was the vegetable so devout? It always said its prayers before being eaten!

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza maker? Make me one with everything!

Why did the nun switch to an electric car? She wanted to be more holy-powered!

Why does the ocean pray at night? To sea-k forgiveness for making waves!

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants in a no-pants zone!

Why did the pastor switch to decaf? He didn't want to create any more buzz in the congregation!

Why did the yoga instructor have to go to court? For violating the pose-ession order!

How did the priest fix his broken bike? With a prayer chain!

Why couldn't the mummy join the religious group? He was all wrapped up in himself!

Why did the chicken go to confession? To get some poultry-geist out of its system!

What's a priest's favorite type of science? Chemis-tree!

Why did the priest workout every day? He wanted to build a temple!