Why did the whale switch to Linux? It had a big haddock.

What has keys but can't open doors? A watermelon.

Why did the math book go cliff jumping? It wanted to solve for 'Y'.

Why did the tree go to the dentist? It had rotten roots.

What has a head, a tail, is brown, and can't see? A penny.

Why did the music note go to the hospital? It had a sharp pain.

Why did the chicken bring a ruler to the party? To measure up to the competition.

I have a neck but no head. I have a body but no legs. What am I? A bottle.

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles.

What do you get when you pick a pig's pocket? Ham.

What is the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream!

Why did the mushroom go to the party alone? Because he is a fungi!

What has space but no room, opens but can't close? A door!

I have cities, but no houses.I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I? A map!

What is sharp, but can't cut anything? A pencil!

What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs? A penny, except when it's having a dream!

What asks no questions but requires many answers? A doorbell!

I run around the whole yard without moving. What am I? A fence!

Which word is always pronounced wrong? Wrong!

Why was the math book angry? Because it had too many problems.

Why did the tomato become amateur boxing champion? Because it could take a punch.