My friend told me I'm terrible at math. I told him that's not a sum I can add to my list of concerns.

I told my friend I could tell him anything. He said 'prove it.'

I asked my cat for relationship advice. She said 'you've got to be kitten me.'

I told the mirror I needed a break. It reflected on that idea.

I asked the math teacher for some advice. She summed it up pretty well.

I told my therapist I have a fear of oversized furniture. She told me to get over it.

I asked my phone for relationship advice. It said 'call me maybe.'

I told the gardener to water the plants. He said they're getting too much sun already.

I told the clock I needed more time. It just kept ticking.

I asked the shoe for relationship advice. It said 'sole mates are hard to find.'

I told my plants I'd be there for them. They said 'water we waiting for?'

I gave up on my photography hobby. It never developed into anything.

I asked the light bulb for relationship advice. It said 'turn me on.'

I told my boss I needed a pay raise to improve my morale. He asked me if I was related to him.

I asked the vacuum for relationship advice. It sucked.

I told the tailor I wanted a suit that fits like a glove. He gave me oven mitts.

I asked my dog if he wanted to play fetch. He told me to fetch my own ball.

I told my boss I needed a day off to de-stress. He asked me if I was stressed on the weekends too.

I offered to help at the bakery, but they said they kneaded me.

I asked my plant for relationship advice. It said 'leaf me alone.'

I tried to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it was a total disaster. Good thing nobody showed up.