I'm like a plant - I need constant watering and I still might die.

I'm the human version of a do not disturb sign.

I'm like a parking ticket - I'm never where I'm supposed to be.

I'm so bad at telling jokes, my punchlines are more like tap on the shoulder.

I'm like a smartphone - constantly needing updates and charging.

I'm so bad at saving money, I could spend a dollar in a minute.

I'm like a broken pencil - pointless and easily broken.

I'm the type of person who trips up the stairs and blames the stair for being there.

I'm like a computer - prone to crashing at the worst possible times.

I'm so bad at taking compliments, I treat them like assignments and just ignore them.

I'm like a WiFi signal - unreliable and constantly buffering.

I'm the type of person who would get lost in a small room with one exit.

I'm so bad at technology, I struggle to set the clock on my microwave.

I'm so lazy, I use my workout time to take naps.

I'm so forgetful, I have to set a reminder to check my reminders.

I'm so uncoordinated, I trip over nothing on a regular basis.

I'm so bad at technology, I accidentally replied all to an email to myself.

I'm such a procrastinator, I'll probably start my diet tomorrow...or the day after.

I'm terrible at remembering names, half the time I forget my own.

I tried to make a joke about my life, but it was too depressing even for me.

I asked my mirror for advice, but it just keeps reflecting on itself.