I accidentally ate some food coloring. Now I feel like I'm dying inside!

I dressed up as a server for Halloween. I went as a ghost server!

I tried to pick up a pencil, but it was pointless!

Why was the broom late? It swept past meadows!

I accidentally glued my fingers together. Now I'm stuck in a sticky situation!

I accidentally bumped into a door. Now it's ajar!

I used to be a baker, but I burnt too many bridges.

I used to be a football player until I broke my voice box.

I put all my spare change into a wishing well. Now I'm a well wisher.

I wanted to be a comedian, but I just didn't have the drive.

I used to be a comedian, but I always forgot the punchline!

I used to be a volleyball player, but I couldn't keep it together!

Why did the cowboy always buy his beans at the same store? He heard they had a good western union!

I used to be a piano player, but I couldn't handle the keys!

What did the pillow say to the blanket? 'I've got you covered!'

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't 'dig' the hours!

What did the picture say to the wall? 'I hang here often!'

I used to be an athlete, but I couldn't run with the crowd!

Why did the tomato get sent to the principal's office? It was caught ketchup-ing!

I used to be a doctor, but I never had the patience!

Why did the bicycle stand up to the bully? It had two wheels!