What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Titanic? Nothing, it just waved!

Why did the clown bring a suitcase to the comedy show? Because he wanted to use a lot of props!

Why did the tomato turn purple? It was holding its breath!

When the electricity went out at the school, the children were de-lighted.

Why do golfers bring extra pants? In case they get a hole in one.

I couldn't figure out how diabetes patients got their insulin shots. Then it hit me.

How do you build a tissue spaceship? You blow your nose on it!

Why did the chicken get a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct? It was eggcessive celebrating!

What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!

What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the dock!

Why did the calendar's days get numbered? It had a date with destiny!

Why couldn't the snowman keep a straight face? He always cracked up!

Why did the oak tree go to the doctor? It had too many acorns!

Why did the tomato hit the gym? It wanted to become a beefsteak tomato!

Why did the math book look so down? It had too many problems to solve!

What happened when the wheel was invented? It caused a revolution!

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist? He got repossessed!

Why did the salad go to the art exhibition? To romaine calm!

Why was the astronaut always late? He needed space to park his shuttle!

What did one mirror say to the other mirror? 'You're really reflective today!'

Why did the man put his phone in the blender? He wanted to make a smooth call!