Who can jump higher than a house? Everyone, houses can't jump!

Why do mathematicians always carry around a piece of graph paper? In case they need to draw a graph!

Why did the scarecrow win so many awards? It was outstanding in its field!

Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He had a lot of brain matter!

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drum sticks!

Why did the bicycle keep falling down? It was two-tired!

Why was the math book happy? It got a lot of problems solved!

I tried to do a cartwheel but ended up crashing into the furniture.

Why did the bicycle fall down the hill? Because it couldn't brake!

I accidentally wore my shirt inside out all day. No one noticed until I did a cartwheel.

I tried to juggle water balloons but ended up soaked and out of breath.

I tried to open a can of peas but ended up shooting them across the room.

What happened to the guy who slipped on the banana peel? He went bananas!

I tried to do a backflip but ended up on my back... in pain.

I tried to do a split and now I'm seeing stars... and feeling pain.

I tried to catch a ball but ended up smacking myself in the face.

I tried to do a somersault but ended up just rolling on the ground.

I tried to balance a broom on my hand but ended up with a broom to the face.

I tried to ride a unicycle but ended up with a sore behind.

I tried to do a split and now I can't get up... send help!

I tried to jump over a puddle but ended up soaking wet.