Jokes featuring animals, often anthropomorphized or absurd.
What do you call a turtle who loves to play the flute? A shellist!
What do you call a lazy rabbit? A hop-loafer!
How do you make a cat happy? Give it some purr-sonal space!
Why did the squirrel bring a stick to the party? To go out on a limb!
How do you count cows? With a cow-culator!
Why don't koalas count as bears? They don't meet the koalifications!
Why did the pony get sent to his room? Because he wouldn't stop horsing around!
What kind of dog loves to take a bath? A shampoodle!
Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it's too far to walk!
How do you know if a vampire bat is sick? It acts batty!
Why did the chicken sit on the clock? To get to the pecking hour!
How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod? Use your net-ural instinct!
Why did the koala bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
Why did the squirrel cross the road? To prove he had guts.
How do you catch a fish that can't swim? With a bookworm.
How do you stop a dog from barking in the backseat? Put him in the front seat.
Why did the rabbit go to school? To get some bunny to love.
How do you make a cat bark? Soak it in gasoline and throw it in the fire.
Why did the antelope get bad grades? Because he was always skipping class.
Why did the zebra get kicked out of the game? He was always trying to ref theeree.